Rip up your road safety rulebook, get ready to step into on-coming traffic and prepare for a LOT of ding for your dong, we’re off to Ho Chi Minh City.
Here’s the lowdown on a 36 hour, whistle stop tour of old Saigon:
FRIDAY
6pm, The New World Hotel: not the most glam of destinations, but the city’s first 5* hotel. Decent sized rooms, good bathrooms and a comfy bed. 500m away from tourist-ridden Ben Thanh Market.
7pm, Club Camargue: French food and great wine on a palm-fringed, candle-lit terrace. From smoked salmon to lamb shanks with artichokes to nutella crème brûlée, everything was delicious. $50 for two people, 3 courses plus wine. 16 Cao Ba Quat, 824 3148. Dinner only.
9:30pm, Vasco’s bar: Live music and pool tables in the courtyard directly below Club Camargue. What could be more convenient?! Watch out though, the whole operation is moving soon. As above.
11pm, Q Bar: Underneath the Municipal Theatre is slick Q Bar. A bit too cool for school, but fun to have drinks on Lam Son Square and soak up colonial architecture at the same time. 7 Lam Son Sq, 823 7699.
SATURDAY
9am, War Remnants Museum: Not for the faint-hearted. Graphic photographs, war memorabilia and malformed foetuses; a poignant insight into the horrors of Vietnam’s wars with the French and Americans.
10:15am, Reunification Palace: One look at this white elephant was enough to put me off touring its insides. Apparently there’s lots of interesting period kitsch and propaganda there however.
11am, Hôtel de Ville: A stroll past and gaze up at the fairytale, wedding-cake style old town hall. Now home to The People’s Committee. A stone’s throw from the Ho Chi Minh City Museum if you’ve got time to explore the city’s history.
11:10am, L’Apothiquaire: Oh la la! Homemade rubs and scrubs going for a song at this aromatherapy spa. Handmade products from Bordeaux at prices the French can only dream of – $4.50 for a lemongrass-scented salt scrub. Merci beaucoup. 63 Le Thanh Ton, 822 1218.
11:30, Nga: Lovely lacquer. Right next door to L’Apothiquaire.
11:40, Notre Dame Cathedral: A red bricked beauty in the middle of the city. Doesn’t look a thing like its Parisian cousin, but who cares. If you’re here on a Sunday, and so inclined, there’s mass in English. If you’re there don’t miss the Post Office next door.
11:35 – 12:30, Dong Khoi: This is where the French used to strut their stuff and it’s easy to see why. Still home to chic boutiques and international designer labels. Very easy to while away an hour deciding whether that lacquer bowl or those buffalo horn salad servers would actually look good at home.
12:45, Temple Club: Fantastic Vietnamese food in this retro indo-chine salon. No MSG, fresh Pho soups and amazing spring rolls (amongst countless other temptations). Exposed brickwork, latticed wooden archways, Vietnamese lamps, original tiles and best of all, if you like some of their furniture, you can make them an offer to buy it. Would be a great place for dinner too. $25 for two people, 2 courses and soft drinks. 29 Ton That Thiep, 829 9244.
1:45 – 2:15, Ton That Thiep: Some great shops on this more off-the-beaten-track road. Try Gaya (#30) for homeware, linen, fashion and furniture, but get your credit card out because it doesn’t come cheap. Appeal (#41 and #33) has great eggshell lacquerware, from photo frames to floor lamps.
2:45pm, Ben Thanh Market: Hold onto your wallet, this is pickpocket heaven. If you can handle the throngs this is a good place to pick up a bargain. Traditional Vietnamese lanterns, ceramics and the backpacker must-have, Tiger Beer t-shirts. Towards the back is the wet market if you can’t hack the hassle.
3:15pm, pool time: need a nap? So did I. Ho Chi Minh is 30 degrees in Feb so why not soak up some sun?
5pm, Emperor Jade Pagoda: Incensed-filled Cantonese-built temple. Touted as the most interesting in town. If you’ve seen a lot of temples before and are tight for time I wouldn’t make the 30 min journey. There’s a nice temple garden though, which offers a welcome respite from the frenetic city.
7pm, Dong Du: Just off Dong Khoi is this quieter, bar and restaurant filled street. We stopped for drinks at Qing, a wine bar with Asian tapas, and were serenaded by dragon dancers gearing up for the Tết festival.
7:40pm, Thann and Harnn: Walking to dinner can be so distracting, especially when another amazing spa shop crops up. Scented candles and fragrant lotions in this little Aladdin’s cave. Jo Malone, eat your heart out. 23 Dong Du, 827 2008.
8pm, Nam Kha: Allegedly one of the city’s best Vietnamese restaurants, but actually where Donatella Versace met Laura Ashley and it all went hideously wrong. Perhaps the food is fantastic, but I wasn’t going to sit by the reflection pool to find out.
8:30pm, The Refinery: An oasis of simplicity and deliciousness in a courtyard near the Hôtel de Ville. Arriving at this French-owned restaurant is like stumbling into a secret garden; illuminated by candles and fairylights the restaurant sits on the ground floor of a yellow colonial house with a terracotta roof and wooden eaves. With a menu that would make Provence proud and a wine list to match, this is a great place to come for a glimpse of how the city must have been when the French were still in town. It was so hard to leave that we didn’t until we had to, sipping red wine and watching girls in traditional ao dais walk past. Around $60 for two people, 3 courses and (lots of) wine. 74/7C Hai Ba Trung, 823 0509.
The first sunny day in many days has brought about 
Nadine Gordimer won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1991; Mandla Langa won the 2009 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best Book, Africa with his novel The Lost Colours of the Chameleon.
